"Real Engineers ..." Jokes
Real engineers ...
- Don't write application programs. They program right down to the bare metal. Application programs are for dullards who can't do system programming.
- Don't write specs. Users should be grateful for whatever they get. They are lucky to get any documentation at all.
- Don't comment their code. If it was hard to write, it should be hard to understand and even harder to modify.
- Don't read user manuals. Reliance on a reference is a hallmark of the novice and the coward.
- Never work 9 to 5. If any real engineers are around at 9 a.m. it's because they were up all night.
- Have no use for managers. Managers are a necessary evil. Managers are for dealing with personnel bozos, bean counters, senior planners and other mental defectives.
- Don't believe in schedules. Planners make up schedules. Managers "firm up" schedules. Frightened engineers strive to make schedules. Real engineers ignore schedules.
- Don't take support calls. If the user can't figure it out, screw 'em.
- Don't seek technical support. To do so is a sign of weakness.
- Read tecnical manuals at lunch.
- Use vacations as an opportunity to learn new programming languages.
- Don't drink Sprite, 7-Up, or diet cola. A beverage for a real engineer must be brown and highly caffinated.
- Read tech magazines during meetings. If the information was important, they'd send it in an e-mail.
- Consider themselves well dressed if their socks match.
- Buy their spouses a set of matched screwdrivers for their birthday.
- Wear moustaches or beards for "efficiency", not because they're lazy.
- Don't write the user interfaces, they merely argue over what they should look like.